Having gone through a depression-kind of setback, I discovered how greatly it has impacted on my speech.
Going through the gloomy moments made me think a lot of things in mind.
Then, there's being disappointed by friends whom I expected to be
offered a listening ear and good advises.
In the end, all these had
driven me into silence. I thought keeping my mouth shut would be better
in enduring the pain patiently, waiting for the heavy rain to stop
soon.
However when the sun is
rising, I found myself struggling to open up. This is made obvious when I
attended an interview. I notice I had a hard time expressing my
thoughts. Furthermore, having recently come out from the cocoon, I was
still in a daze with no clear plans on how I would like to drive my
future. I was terribly stuck at that point.
Nevertheless, I'm thankful that Allah has pointed out the shortcomings that I need to improve.
Whether I will be accepted or not is one thing, but whatever the
outcome, I pray that Allah strengthen my heart with Sakinah & to be
more concerned in pleasing Him than anyone else.
Alhamduliah,
unexpectedly yesterday I had a meaningful discussion with my friend on
Tawakkul. Here, I still had difficulty expressing my points in thoughts,
but the fruits produced in this 'usrah' style discussion had greatly
encouraged me to keep pushing forward and break the barrier wall in my
mind.
Alhamduliah the discussion proved to have open the next
road to me in getting closer to Allah, especially the conviction to
complaint to Him when falling into setback, because previously as
someone from freethinker background I always feel like talking to the
wall whenever I try to cry to Allah. Jazakumullah khairan
Ali Muhammad Sabri &
Ng Kuan Beng for your time and sharing
