Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Flashbacks & Forgiveness

Shared from Wives Of Jannah Facebook page :

My husband and I were having a conversation the other night about a subject which had caused some tension between both of us.

Seeking to find harmony again, we talked, and dug, and talked, and dug some more. The meanings, metaphors, and beliefs being explored in this conversation kept taking us deeper and deeper into ourselves.
We learned a lot about ourselves and each other in that moment. It was Fearless Vulnerability (which I talk about in all of my training programs) at it's best.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Because I want you to remember that no human being is simple, especially in matters of love, areas of conflict, and places where there is hurt. We are all these intricate beings, built with thousands of memories, meanings, and moments that we carry with us, all into a single moment.

While talking, I even had a flashback to an event in high school! Something that was not related at all, a memory that took me back to band practice out on the football field. It was crazy, but despite the irrational connection, there was an emotional one.

When there is tension, slow down. Understand that the tension is beyond this moment, and yet at the same time, all about this moment. Stop looking at your husband (or wife for the men who follow this page) as a person out to hurt you, out to get you, and in your life just to be an unchanging, complicated and stubborn person.

In the flash of emotion, it can be hard to remember all of this. So take two steps:

1) Say 'authu billahi min ash-shaitanir rajeem
2) Ask yourself "How can I show Fearless Vulnerability right now?"

Both of those will transform any conversation, and allow you to focus on yourself and what you can offer in the moment.

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